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On occasion, Jay Spring believes he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments often turn “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically followed by a “crash”, where he feels overwhelmed and self-conscious about his behavior, making him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from others. He came to wonder he might have NPD after looking up his traits online – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. But, he questions he would have taken the label if he hadn’t previously arrived at that understanding by himself. “If you try to tell somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they feel beliefs of dominance. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve built up. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Though people have been identified with narcissism for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, who believes the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he notes many people hide it, as there is so much stigma around the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through behaviors including seeking admiration,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

Though up to 75% of people found to have NPD are males, findings points out this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, as with everything in society,” notes an individual who shares content on her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on online channels. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with handling criticism and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I often enter defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this response – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and accept input from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she notes she and her partner “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mainly in the care of her father and says she lacked healthy examples in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding all this time what is and is not appropriate to say in conflicts because I never had that in my formative years,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my relatives were belittling me in my early years.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be connected with early life adversity. “There is a genetic component,” notes a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and career success, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships lasted. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he states. Therefore, I never treated relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with feelings. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he says – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his GP, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for psychological counseling through national services (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for 18 months: The estimate was it is probably going to be early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he comments. Each individual have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – hence being willing to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the condition. But the growth of online advocates and the rise of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number